True Christian community

I recognize this blog has been left derelict lately, but it seems a good place to share this, which will also end up on my Facebook profile.  It will not end up on my other blog, Pray Around The World, because it's not relevant, but I mention that as an excuse to get in a plug for it, because I've been devoting a lot of time to it and haven't yet seen what God plans to do with it.  I could use some traffic over there, is what I'm saying.

We toss around the word "friend" pretty loosely, and I was thinking last night that what I really treasure are true friends.  Another phrase I use too loosely is "Christian community," which tends to be a substitute for "church," "group of people I hang out with at Church," or "random people who will occasionally mention God separate from cursing."

But true Christian community is what I want and need, and true Christian community is made up of the truest of friends.

The Catholic writer and speaker Matthew Kelly talks about "The Best Version of Yourself."  In fact, he talks and writes about it A LOT.  He even registered the domain "theBestVersionofYourself.com," and if you have ever heard him speak or read his stuff (both of which are well worth your time), you have heard/read that phrase umpteen-gazillion times.  God wants us to be the best version of ourselves.  We are called to become the best version of ourselves.  The purpose of being here is to become the best version of ourselves.  You get the picture.  (N.B. Kelly is similar in many, but not all, ways to a secular speaker/author who deals in the same general message, Marcus Buckingham.  And not just because they both have funny accents.)

And he's right.  He's also right that a true friend is one who helps you become the best version of yourself.  And true Christian community is nothing more or less than a network of friends devoted to helping each other become the best versions of themselves.  But how?

Here are the elements I've identified as ones I'd like to find in friends and in Christian community to help me become the best version of myself.  They are also the things I feel most called to offer to others who are fully devoted to becoming the best versions of themselves.

1. Prayer.  True friends pray for each other.  I would love to be part of a Christian community in which every member prays for every other member every day.
2. Care.  True friends show concern for each other.  They check up on each other.  They help each other out when they see a need.
3. Share.  I can't become the best version of myself alone; I need to learn from others.  As I read and study the faith and learn from the lives of saints and sinners, I want to share what I've learned and soak in what my friends are learning.
4. Dare.  This is the area where most people fall short, or at least it's where I fall short and just about everyone I know does, too.  True friends dare each other to get better; they challenge each other not to settle for who they are today, or for what the easiest next step is.  They lovingly and prayerfully challenge their friends to reach for their goal.  Most people don't do this, because they don't want to come off as self-righteous, arrogant, or preachy.  A few people do this, but usually they do it without establishing the bonds that come from mutual prayer, sharing and caring (so they come off as self-righteous, arrogant and preachy).  But I believe you can thread that needle; the people closest to me, who I know want the best for me can challenge me that way, and I wish they'd do it more often.
5. Bear.  The flip side of daring friends to grow is bearing with their weaknesses and faults.  Christians get a bad rap for focusing on judging each others' sins instead of loving each other in spite of those sins, and, let's face it, the evidence to support that rap is pretty thick.  A true Christian community, a true friend, can bear with your faults, not by pretending they aren't there, but by loving you no less because of them.

The essential thread that runs through all these things (and doesn't remotely rhyme, by the way) is mutuality.  You can say you do all these things for a friend, but let's face it; if you don't make yourself as vulnerable as you want others to be, or if you see your friend as an object to be worked on rather than a fellow subject to accompany, all these things fall flat.

So there you go, in a pithy rhyming bundle: Prayer, Care, Share, Dare, Bear.  I would love to find a Christian community of friends who are whole-heartedly sold-out to a commitment to do those five things for each other.  Would you?